I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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