This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
