I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
