T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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