I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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