i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
