Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am never drinking with the goths again.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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