I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
