big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
