I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
