I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize