he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Acid is not a monday night drug
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
