No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
