i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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