It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
and you fell through a lawn chair
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
