i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
