You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
