just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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