Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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