is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
