honey bunches of taint.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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