THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
