Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
