We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
