didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
