i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
