my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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