All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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