I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
