I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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