But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
