what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
