Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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