think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
