omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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