Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
