There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
