ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
