He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
