I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize