I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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