Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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