Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
