It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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