Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
