So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
