I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
