He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
