Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
