apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
