I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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