We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
