so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
