lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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