We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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