the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
