So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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