a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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