Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
