i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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