A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize