my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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