He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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