none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
oh god the rape fog is back!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
