someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
