"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
